Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Taser testing versus taser actual usage

I read an account of a journalist volunteering to be tasered. Reportedly the Taser-wank carefully connected (by hand) one taser lead to the victim's belt-buckle and another to his pant cuff (at the ankle).

Now, right off the bat, that seems fake. How often does a taser shot result in such a barb placement (ankle)? The current basically went down one leg.

FAKE!!! FAKE !!! FAKE !!!

So here is my proposed New Years Resolution for Taser Inc.

From now on, when tasering subjects either for training or demonstration purposes, carefully place the barbs so that the maximum possible potentially heart-stopping current goes through the chest. After all, the ever-faithful police and grade-school drop-out security thugs AIM at the chest of the victims.

Also have the subject stand in a location about five feet from a heavy desk so that they'll have a good chance of whacking their head on the way down. This is to Taser's benefit because for everyone with a cracked skull, that's one less potential heart stoppage. I'm trying to be generous with this suggestion - honest.

Also, for these tests, hold the button down for about 90 seconds. This seems to be a duration that is actually being used in the field.

Finally, video every test and submit all of them to YouTube.

Happy New Year.

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