Monday, February 2, 2009

Taser insanity - headlines du jour

Police taser two students [Girls!] to break up school fight [LINK]

I guess that without the taser this brave police officer would have been forced to shoot them both dead [?]. As it happens, neither girl was killed by the taser - so all's well that ends well. The girl-fight was broken up, nobody died, and the wussy puffter pansy powder-puff (not that there's anything wrong with that) police officer in question is the laughing stock of the entire civilized world.


Taser malfunction impedes drug arrest - "...due to a taser malfunction..."[LINK]


Modesto speeding biker - "...it did not appear the taser was effective..." [LINK]


Taser fundraiser - Police Chief Steven Wulgaert, who will [soon] retire as police chief of the Outagamie County, ...agreed to take a jolt from the stun gun if the other officers could raise $500 for Special Olympics. [LINK]

Oh please do. But first, turn around and take the taser hit directly on the chest (as opposed to your back) with the taser-barbs arranged so that maximum current flows in the vicinity of the heart. Repeat the 5-second taser cycle about 5 or 10 times. Don't worry - it's 'perfectly safe'. Good luck.

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