I need 100 volunteers from Taser International Inc. What we're going to do is subject them to a more significant tasering experience.
The barbs will be manually placed into their chest (pushed all the way in) so that the 'vector' matches that found to be most lethal on pigs (how appropriate...). The actual X26 tasers to be used will be tumble-dried for one minute in a normal dryer to simulate a few months of normal wear and tear. Any that fail in an obvious manner will be replaced. Each victim will be tasered for at least three minutes, and anyone owning more than 1000 shares will be tasered until the battery runs out.
Since the taser is 'completely incapable' of causing any serious harm (sic), I'm sure that the executive staff of Taser will be eager to try this tremendous PR opportunity.
Don't bother to invite me to join the party. I'm not suicidal.
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